How to Procrastinate

You should know how to procrastinate already, but let's go over the basics


Stage 1: Animals!

Step 1: Find a cat (if you don't have a cat find some other pet. If there are no pets in the general area choose an inanimate object)
Step 2: Pet it
Step 3: Have it get angry at you for no reason (fish and dogs don't do this much, but rocks and cats are evil!)
Step 4: Leave them. Forever. Or until you need to begin procrastinating again.

Stage 2: Internet!

Step 1: Check facebook, tumblr, twitter, google+, myspace (why are you even bothering to check it you're pretty much the only one on there... oh wait we're procrastinating go ahead and check even if you haven't checked since the invention of facebook)
Step 2: Watch funny youtube videos (They MUST be funny!)
Step 3: Find a youtuber you like, and see if they have a blog. The answer is yes in most cases. If the answer is no, repeat this step.
Step 4: Check facebook, etc.
Step 5: Look at approximately 2 blog posts
Step 6: Decide to create a blog of your own (if you already have a blog, this step might be deciding to update it, however that is not always the case)
Step 7: Check facebook, etc.
Step 8: Create a blog
Step 9: First post. (It says "first post" somewhere in it doesn't it?)

Stage 3: Sleep!

Step 1: Lay down on a random object and try to sleep on it. (DISCLAIMER: If you're stupid enough to try and sleep on a thorn bush, or a sword, or some similar object it is not my fault. Also, please don't breed.)
Step 2: Repeat Step 1 until frustrated
Step 3: Lay on the floor of your bedroom (or a large dog) and promptly fall into fake sleep (this may become real sleep eventually, especially if the dog is being used)
Step 4: Wake up from your sleep

Stage 4: Music!

Step 1: Find any instrument in your house. (If you don't have any, use a rubber band)
Step 2: Freestyle! Don't bother with sheet music or anything, just jam!
Step 3: Create a song.
Step 4: Play it over and over, but slightly different each time because you can't quite remember it right
Step 5: Throw your instrument down the stairs and see if anyone gets angry. (If using a rubber band as an instrument, it is best to aim for people at the bottom of the stairs)
Step 6: Ignore anyone who is angry with you

Stage 5: Eating!

Step 1: Look in the fridge.
Step 2: Look in the freezer.
Step 3: Look in cabinets.
Step 4: Complain about lack of food.
Step 5: Repeat steps 1 through 3
Step 6: Eat everything from the cabinets.

Stage 6: Learn about procrastination.

Step 1: Find videos of people on youtube who are making videos instead of doing something
Step 2:  Watch them
Step 3: Find blog posts giving you information on how to procrastinate
Step 4: Read them
Step 5: Realize whoever wrote it was procrastinating

Repeat this process until you are no longer expected to be awake, and then resume the next day