July 23, 2011

Racist Candy

When we think of different races we usually think of humans, but what about candy? Different types of candies have different races. Licorice are some of the the least racially diverse, and most racist of all candies. When you eat them you may notice their flavors will fight with anything else you happen to have in your mouth. Skittles aren't terribly diverse, but they're far better than licorice. You're probably wondering how Skittles aren't diverse when they're the rainbow. Well in this case all of them are actually a part of the leather subculture. (Young children probably shouldn't go reading about this, but otherwise its perfectly safe to look up.) The color of the Skittle is the color a humans hanky would be. The most diverse candy is the jelly bean. With all types of colors and flavors it is quite obvious. The only issue is, some communities are segregated. Ever gotten a box of Jelly Bellys? Most mix fairly well once you bring different flavors together in your mouth, but they don't all get along perfectly. An example would be eating the popcorn flavor with the green apple flavor (unless you like that, personally I don't care for it.)http://www.mrbulkytreats.com/images/64860_40-FlavorCongaGB.jpg


Various other candies, also, have different levels of racism against other types of candy, or different flavors of their own candy. Reese's Pieces are an example of a candy that has three colours living together, but when it comes to outsiders they far are less tolerant. No candy is perfect, and most candies do have a lot to work on.

July 14, 2011

Lord of the Pants

I apologize for not having blogged, I was on vacation.
Why does the bad guy in Michael Flatley's Feet of Flames and Lord of the Dance always have epic pants? I think in Lord of the Dance he should be allowed to be Lord of the Pants. Its not Lord of the Dance, but he's still a lord of something. Also, right after the Lord of the Pants (yes that's what I'm calling him now) steals the belt to make him Lord of the Dance and the real Lord of the Dance comes back to life, the Lord of the Pants is at a total disadvantage! The Lord of the Dance is SHIRTLESS!!!! That distracts from any mistakes he made as well as distracting the opponent! So, all in all its a completely unfair fight. You might be thinking "Wouldn't epic pants be distracting, too?" and they are, but the Lord of the Dance has LEATHER pants which are equally distracting. This cancels out the distraction of both of their pants leaving only shirtlessness.
Don't even try to deny that you are distracted


It is difficult to say whether or not he would still have won if he had been wearing a shirt, but it definitely had an effect on the outcome. As long as we remember the Lord of the Pants was at a disadvantage we can allow him to keep his dignity as well as realize a strategy that may have once worked in hand-to-hand combat.